"Underlying all the Dalai Lama's methods there is a set of basic beliefs that act as a substrate for all his actions: a belief in the fundamental gentleness and goodness of all human beings, a belief in the value of compassion, a belief in a policy of kindness, and a sense of commonality among all living creatures." [page 8]
1. The Right toHappiness. Happpiness is the goal of our lives, and it is a worthwhile, achievable goal.
2. The Sources of Happiness. Our happiness may be influenced by what we have and what happens to us, but the ultimate source of long-term happiness is mental.
3. Training the Mind for Happiness. Since the source of happiness is mental, the most effective way to seek happiness is by training our minds in the ways of happiness. This is a gradual, lifelong process. "The practice of Dharma is a constant battle within, replacing previous negative conditioning or habituation with new positive conditioning. ... Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves." [page 43]
4. Reclaiming our Innate State of Happiness. "I believe that every one of us has the basis to be happy, to access the warm and compassionate states of mind that bring happiness. In fact it is one of my fundamental beliefs that not only do we inherently possess the potential for compassion, but I believe that the basic or underlying nature of human beings is gentleness." [page 52]
5. A New Model of Intimacy. The Dalai Lama bases his relationships not on the specifics of people's personalities, but on the general aspects of the human condition: All people want to be happy and escape suffering. By developing compassion for the human condition, a person can relate to anyone and need never be lonely or lack for companionship.
6. Deepening our Connection to Others. Relationships based on compassion (on desiring that all people be happy and escape suffering) are based on unchanging aspects of the human condition, and so are more stable than relationships based on status, common interests, wealth, sex, or romance.
7. The Value and Benefits of Compassion. Developing the ability to view all people with compassion is a key component of having healthy, stable relationships with others and being happy.
8. Facing Suffering. Though specific pains and misfortunes are avoidable, pain and misfortune in general are not. A healthy outlook is not to be surprised when pain and misfortune occur. We transform misfortune into suffering by our mental reactions. Learning to tolerate misfortune is the first step on the path towards liberation from suffering.
9. Self-Created Suffering. This chapter examines some of the specific ways that we increase our suffering: by replaying painful or humiliating scenes in our minds, stoking up our negative feelings; by refusing to recognize the impermanence of things, expecting them to remain the same rather than evolving through their natural stages.
10. Shifting Perspective. Nothing and no one is bad from every possible perspective. By learning to shift our perspective we can escape viewpoints that increase our suffering.
11. Finding Meaning in Pain and Suffering. Pain and suffering are easier to endure if we find meaning in them. Our own suffering gives us empathy with the suffering of others and increases our compassion. It also motivates us to progress on the path of liberation.
12. Bringing About Change. The Dalai Lama describes a five step process for changing oneself: Learning, conviction, determination, action, and effort. It is possible to train yourself to habitually respond to the world with positive mental states rather than negative ones, but it is a long, gradual process.
13. Dealing With Anger and Hatred. The ideas of the previous chapter are put into practice in a discussion of anger and hatred. One fights anger and hatred by cultivating the antidote mental states of patience and tolerance.
14. Dealing With Anxiety and Building Self-Esteem. The ideas of Chapter 12 are applied to anxiety and self-hatred. Cultivating sincere motivation decreases anxiety. Honesty and compassion are antidotes to self-hatred, and build a healthy form of self-esteem.
15. Basic Spiritual Values. Religious beliefs form one level of spirituality. "But then there's another level of spirituality. That is what I call basic spirituality -- basic human qualitities of goodness, kindness, compassion, caring. Whether we are believers or non believers, this kind of spirituality is essential. I personally consider this second level of spirituality to be more important than the first." [page 307]