Chapter 2. The Sources of Happiness

"Happiness is determined more by one's state of mind than by external events. Success may result in a temporary feeling of elation, or tragedy may send us into a period of depression, but sooner or later our overall level of happiness tends to migrate back to a certain baseline." [pages 20-21]

"Happiness is not a simple thing. There are many levels. In Buddhism, for instance, there is a reference to the four factors of fulfillment, or happiness: wealth, worldly satisfaction, spirituality, and enlightenment. Together they embrace the totality of an individual's quest for happiness." [page 24]

"Of course we enjoy ... our material facilities, success, and so on. But without the right mental attitude, without attention to the mental factor, these things have very little impact on our long-term feelings of happiness. For example, if you harbor hateful thoughts or intense anger somewhere deep down inside yourself, then it ruins your health, thus it destroys one of the factors. Also, if you are mentally unhappy or frustrated, then physical comfort is not of much help. On the other hand, if you can maintain a calm, peaceful state of mind, then you can be a very happy person even if you have poor health. Or, even if you have wonderful possessions, when you are in an intense moment of anger or hatred, you feel like throwing them, breaking them. At that moment your possessions mean nothing. ... The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow sort of frosty, or cold, distant, and quite annoying. All of this indicates the tremendous influence that the mental state, the mind factor has on our experience of daily life." [pages 24-25] "As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, a calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life." [page 26]

"I can't see how wanting or buying a more expensive car leads to problems for an individual, as long as he or she can afford it. Having a more expensive car than your neighbors might be a problem for them -- they might be jealous and so on -- but having a new car would give you, yourself, a feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment." "No. ... All the nonvirtuous actions -- lying, stealing, sexual misconduct and so on -- are committed by people who may be feeling a sense of satisfaction at the time. The demarcation between a positive and a negative desire or action is not whether it gives you an immediate feeling of satisfaction but whether it ultimately results in positive or negative consequences. For example, in the case of wanting more expensive possessions, if that is based on a mental attitude that just wants more and more, then eventually you 'll reach a limit of what you can get; you'll come up against reality. And when you reach that limit then you'll lose all hope, sink down into depression, and so on. That's one danger inherent in that type of desire." [page 28] This implies a theory that immoral desires and actions eventually impact the actor negatively. Do you believe this? This is one place where a doctrine of reincarnation is useful, because it often appears that people escape the ultimate consequences of their desires and actions by dying before the chickens come home to roost.

"The true antidote of greed is contentment." [page 29]

"One method [for achieving inner contentment] is to obtain everything we want and desire. ... The second, and more reliable method, is not to have what we want but rather to want and appreciate what we have." [page 29]

"Another internal source of happiness, closely linked with an inner feeling of contentment, is a sense of self-worth." [page 30] "On the one hand, you can have a wealthy, successful person. ... If that person's sense of dignity and self-worth is only material, then so long as his fortune remains, maybe that person can sustain a sense of security. But the moment the fortune wanes the person will suffer because there is no other refuge. On the other hand you can have another person enjoying similar economic status and financial success, but at the same time, that person is warm and affectionate and has a sense of compassion. Because that person has another source of worth, another source that gives him or her a sense of dignity, another anchor, there is less chance of that person's becoming depressed if his or her fortune happens to disappear. Through this type of reasoning you can see the very practical value of human warmth and affection in developing an inner sense of worth." [page 32]

"Although there are no easy solutions to avoiding ... destructive pleasures, fortunately we have a place to begin: the simple reminder that what we are seeking in life is happiness. ... If we approach our choices in life keeping that in mind, it is easier to give up the things that are ultimately harmful to us, even if those things bring us momentary pleasure." [page 36]