Cutler and the Dalai Lama discuss the Dalai Lama's regret over not being present at his brother's death. Cutler, in witnessing the way the Dalai Lama discusses the subject is struck "by the very real possibility of a human being's fully facing life's tragedies and responding emotionally, even with deep regret, but without indulging in excessive guilt or self-contempt. The possibility of a human being's wholly accepting herself or himself, complete with limitations, foibles, and lapses of judgment." [pages 161-162]
Cutler describes the importance of the Buddhist doctrine of impermanence, the idea that all things are in constant change. He concludes that Westerners would do well to place more importance on this idea as well. "Life is change. And to the extent that we refuse to accept this fact and resist the natural life changes, we will continue to perpetuate our own suffering." [page 164] "If we define our self-image in terms of what we used to look like or in terms of what we used to be able to do and can't do now, it is a pretty safe bet that we won't grow happier as we grow older." [page 165] He gives a second example of this idea in terms of romantic relationships: Relationships naturally go through stages, but if we think they should stay the same, we might suffer from the idea that something has gone wrong.