"I've found that sincere motivation acts as an antidote to reduce fear and anxiety. ... If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy." [pages 270-272] Cutler observes "In the Dalai Lama's system of training the mind and achieving happiness, the closer one gets to being motivated by altruism, the more fearless one becomes in the face of even extremely anxiety-provoking circumstances." [page 273]
"When we are dealing with 'self-confidence' you need to look at what is the underlying sense of 'self'. I think one can categorize two types. One sense of self, or 'ego', is concerned only with the fulfillment of one's self-interest, one's selfish desires, with complete disregard for the well-being of others. The other type of ego or sense of self is based on a genuine concern for others, and the desire to be of service. In order to fulfill that wish to be of service, one needs a strong sense of self, and a sense of self-confidence. This kind of self-confidence is the kind that leads to positive consequences." [page 279]
"The more honest you are, the more open, the less fear you will have, because there's no anxiety about being exposed or revealed to others. So, I think that the more honest you are, the more self-confident you will be." [page 280] "For me to realize that I cannot perform miracles -- that does not lead to loss of confidence, because I never believed myself to have that capacity in the first place. I don't expect myself to be able to perform functions like the fully enlightened Buddhas -- to be able to know everything, perceive everything, or do the right thing at any and all times. So when people come to me and ask me to heal them or perform a miracle or something like that, instead of making me feel a lack of confidence, it just makes me feel quite awkward." [page 281]
Cutler is dismayed to find that the Dalai Lama has only just heard of the concept of self-hatred, and is having trouble understanding it. Cutler speculates that if the Dalai Lama's definition of loving someone is to wish for their happiness an release from suffering, even most of those suffering from self-hatred do indeed love themselves as well. "This idea suggests a powerful antidote to self-hatred: we can directly counteract thoughts of self-contempt by reminding ourselves that no matter how much we may dislike some of our characteristics, underneath it all we wish ourselves to be happy, and that is a profound kind of love." [pages 286-287] "For those engaged in Buddhist practice, the antidote to self-hatred would be to reflect upon the fact that all beings, including oneself, have Buddha Nature -- the seed or potential for perfection, full Enlightenment -- no matter how weak or poor or deprived one's present situation may be." [page 287] "So long as we know and maintain an awareness that we have this marvelous gift of human intelligence and capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, in some sense we have this underlying mental health. An underlying strength, that comes from realizing we have this great human potential. This realization can act as a sort of built-in mechanism that allows us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into self-hatred." [page 289]