7. The Value and Benefits of Compassion

"Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent, nonharming, and nonaggressive. It is a mental attitude based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering, and is associated with a sense of commitment, responsibility and respect towards the other." [page 114] He distinguishes between "genuine" compassion and compassion "tinged with attachment -- the feeling of controlling someone, or loving someone so that the person will love you back. ... A relationship based on that alone is unstable. That kind of partial relationship, based on perceiving and identifying the person as a friend, may lead to a certain emotional attachment and a feeling of closeness. But if there is a slight change in the situation ... then all of a sudden your mental projection changes; the concept of 'my friend' is no longer there. Then you'll find the emotional attachment evaporating, and instead of that feeling of love and concern, you may have a feeling of hatred." [page 114] "Genuine compassion is based on the rationale that all human beings have an innate desire to be happy and overcome suffering, just like myself. And, just like myself, they have the fundamental right to fulfill this aspiration. ... With this as a foundation, you can feel compassion regardless of whether you view the other person as a friend or an enemy. It is based on the other's fundamental rights rather than your own mental projection." [page 115]

Cutler protests that the two forms of compassion would correspond to the same emotion, but the Dalai Lama denies this. Cutler brings up a hypothetical example of a person successful in all the major areas of life -- work, family, friends -- who didn't recognize the feeling of compassion as the Dalai Lama had described it, and didn't feel that anything was missing from his life. The Dalai Lama doubts that such a person would be really happy deep down. "I think that it is conceivable that up to a certain point, even without feeling human warmth and affection, he may not experience a feeling of lacking anything. But if he felt that everything was OK, that there was no real requirement for developing compassion, I would suggest that this view is due to ignorance and shortsightedness. ... [Other people] may be influenced by his wealth and power and relate to that rather than to the person himself. ... They may be contented; they may not expect more. But what happens if his fortune declined, then that basis of the relationship would weaken. Then he would begin to see the effect of not having warmth and immediately begin to suffer. However, if people have compassion, that's naturally something they can count on; even if they have economic problems and their fortune declines, they still have something to share with fellow human beings." [page 121] So compassion is more reliable than money or power -- do you agree?

The chapter ends with a meditation on compassion. You begin by asserting that you do not want to suffer and that you want to be happy. Then you think about someone close to you and assert the same about them. Then you keep thinking about people farther removed and less sympathetic.