Notes by Doug Muder (1997)

"Discipline, it has been suggested, is the means of human spiritual evolution. This section will examine what lies in back of discipline--what provides the motive, the energy for discipline. This force I believe to be love." [page 81]

"Love is a strangely circular process. For the process of extending one's self is an evolutionary process. When one has successfully extended one's limits, one has then grown into a large state of being. Thus the act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth." [page 82]

"I believe that it will become clear that not only do self-love and love of others go hand in hand but that ultimately they are indistinguishable." [page 83]

What Love Is Not

• Love is not falling in love
• Love is not dependence
• Love is not self-sacrifice
• Love is not a feeling

Love Requires Work and Courage

• The work of attention
• The risk of loss
• The risk of independence
• The risk of commitment
• The risk of confrontation

Qualities of Love

• Love is disciplined
• Love is separateness
• Love is central to psychotherapy
• Love is a mystery

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